Post by shironbarbaros on Feb 12, 2007 2:57:47 GMT 1
I walked in circles spreading lies about myself. i spoke to my soul through my mouth leaving my heart in utter darkness. my whole body aches as if it were dying. caught in a war that i alone am fighting. i picture so many things that make me lose control. its been a long time since i cried. as many tears as i did. they streamed from my eyes, as if i broke a dam protecting my mind from being drowned in the waves that were to come. i prayed to the heavens "save me from this hell i know as my life" so many times i tried to strip away that life. so many times each memory flooding into sight along with the ocean of tears. as well was a haze that clouded my sight my hearing and my voice. nothing. all had died for the moment that i realized. everything i had done i had done because im alone. only alone through my emotions and in my heart. for my mind and soul are companion to demons. crowding me in my own body. i talk to myself to distract from the things that i hear streaming from the depths of oblivion within my mind. i fear the darkness but have been forced to live within it. i fear death but have faced it many times. each time losing alittle more of myself. i am soon to be no more than a shell of a person. a husk of what was once a human soul.
i am nothing.
i am nothing.
i am nothing.
this is what i hear. in my ears rings a voice of a thousand voices. echoing through my skull. reverberating endlessly driving me into insanity. ive lost my mind, my soul is next. my body is degrading, my heart is fading. my life is ending, my death asending towards the peak of what is yet to come.
i dont cry. yet tonight i have let loose a thousand tears. i dont fear. yet tonight i am scared of this inpending doom. i dont hate. yet tonight i have set war against my own being. i dont love. yet as of tonight some 21 people i had once loved have passed through my sight to be archived as though being forggotten.
to forget. a wonderful thing. i wish I could forget, what i had lost, what i had sustained, what i had thrown away. my life is being destroyed from the inside out. very little hope remains with me. if even a singe other has any love for me let them speek, for my time runs short. this earth will keep turning, its light keep shining, its shadows keep creeping, its rain keep falling, its people keep living. though without me.
i am nothing.
i am nothing.
i am nothing.
even after death i shall continue hearing the words of my demons. even after death i will continue the fight. the only difference will be that i will not love, i will hate, i will not be sorrowful, i will be strong, i will destroy the demons inside me. but in the process my soul shall be consumed by the ether. my life drained from the world. noone will remember me.
if ever my name be spoken noone will understand. i have no reason to believe that anyone would miss such a loathsom creature as me. that anyone could love this miserable symbol of life.
i shall love those whom i shall. and those who love me...forget.
i am nothing.
i am nothing.
i am nothing.
this is what i hear. in my ears rings a voice of a thousand voices. echoing through my skull. reverberating endlessly driving me into insanity. ive lost my mind, my soul is next. my body is degrading, my heart is fading. my life is ending, my death asending towards the peak of what is yet to come.
i dont cry. yet tonight i have let loose a thousand tears. i dont fear. yet tonight i am scared of this inpending doom. i dont hate. yet tonight i have set war against my own being. i dont love. yet as of tonight some 21 people i had once loved have passed through my sight to be archived as though being forggotten.
to forget. a wonderful thing. i wish I could forget, what i had lost, what i had sustained, what i had thrown away. my life is being destroyed from the inside out. very little hope remains with me. if even a singe other has any love for me let them speek, for my time runs short. this earth will keep turning, its light keep shining, its shadows keep creeping, its rain keep falling, its people keep living. though without me.
i am nothing.
i am nothing.
i am nothing.
even after death i shall continue hearing the words of my demons. even after death i will continue the fight. the only difference will be that i will not love, i will hate, i will not be sorrowful, i will be strong, i will destroy the demons inside me. but in the process my soul shall be consumed by the ether. my life drained from the world. noone will remember me.
if ever my name be spoken noone will understand. i have no reason to believe that anyone would miss such a loathsom creature as me. that anyone could love this miserable symbol of life.
i shall love those whom i shall. and those who love me...forget.